I'd suggest to try it on your own. Do an expansion of your wavefunction in terms of spherical harmonics,
$$
\psi(\mathbf r) \ = \ \sum_{\ell} R_\ell(r,t) \, Y_{\ell 0} (\theta,\phi)\,.
$$
Note that I've set the index $m$ in $Y_{\ell m}$ to zero, in order to account for the symmetry of your Hamiltonian with respect to rotations around the $x-y$ plane. This makes your problem essentially two-dimensional. You can also write the spherical harmonic in terms of Legendre polynomials,
$$
Y_{\ell0}(\theta,\varphi) = \sqrt{\frac{2\ell+1}{4\pi}} P_{\ell}(\cos\theta).
$$
Insertion into your Schrödinger equation and project on the spherical hamonics, and you'll end up with a coupled equation for the radial functions $R_l(r,t)$. Here, "coupled" means coupled in $\ell$, i.e. the function $R_\ell(r,t)$ depends on all the other quantum numbers $0\leq \ell \leq L_{\max}$. Solve that with standard finite differences, it's not that hard.
In the insertion-and-projection step above, the only problem appears in evaluating the matrix elements with $x^2+y^2$. If you write it as $r^2 Y_{10}$, it boils down to an integral over three spherical harmonics, which is related to the Clebsch-Gordan or Wigner-3j coefficients. But It's an easy one, for which analytical formulae exist (--just google for the buzzwords in the previous sentence).
If you arrived at the working formula and need further assistance, let me know.
EDIT: summarizing our lengthy discussion in the comment section, here is the final equation which is about to be solved numerically.
$$
i\frac{\partial}{\partial t} u_\ell(r,t) = \left(-\frac{1}{2} \frac{\partial^2}{\partial r^2} + \frac{\ell(\ell+1)}{2r^2} + V(r)\right) u_\ell(r,t) \\ \qquad \qquad\qquad\qquad\qquad\quad+ \frac{2}3 \,k(t)\, r^2 \; \sum_{\ell^\prime=\max(\ell-2,0)}^{\min(\ell+2,L_\max)} \left( \delta_{\ell,\ell^\prime} - \sqrt{\frac{4\pi}5} \alpha(\ell,\ell^\prime) \right)\,u_{\ell^\prime}(r,t)
$$
Here the coefficient $\alpha(\ell,\ell^\prime)$ which you introduced is given by
$$
\alpha(\ell,\ell^\prime) \ = \ \int Y^\ast_{\ell 0}(\Omega) Y_{20}(\Omega) Y_{\ell^\prime 0}(\Omega)\ d\Omega
$$
(you can also express that more in standard terms such as Wigner3j symbols, see e.g. here).
Note the restriction in the summation indices which come from the fact that $0\leq \ell^\prime \leq L_\max$ (where $L_\max$ is the maximum angular quantum number chosen in the numerical representation).
k(t)
andV(r)
look like? $\endgroup$