I'm working with the cylindrical coordinates. I'm using the central difference to convert the radial part of Laplace operator into a matrix.
$\nabla^2 u = \frac{\partial ^2u}{\partial r^2}+\frac{1}{r}\frac{\partial u}{\partial r}$
which in the discretized form gives:
$\nabla^2 u_i = \frac{u_{i+1} - 2u_i +u_{i-1}}{h^2}+\frac{1}{r_i}\frac{u_{i+1} -u_{i-1}}{2h}$
where "h" is the step size and $\ r_i = i*h $. Thus:
$\nabla^2 u_i = \frac{u_{i+1} - 2u_i +u_{i-1}}{h^2}+\frac{1}{i*h}\frac{u_{i+1} -u_{i-1}}{2h}=\frac{1}{h^2}[u_{i+1}(1+\frac{1}{2i})-2u_i+u_{i-1}(1-\frac{1}{2i})]$
This means that the off diagonals: coefficients of $(u_{i+1})$ and $(u_{i-1})$ will have the $1/r_i$ dependence, so that would affect the matrix symmetry. This is because in the matrix, the element "ij" will depend on $1/r_i$ while its transpose "ji" will depend on $1/r_j$. Hence, the first few elements of the matrix will look like:
\begin{matrix} -2 & 1.5 & 0 & \cdots \\ 0.75 & -2 & 1.25 & 0 & \cdots\\ 0 & \frac{5}{6} & -2 & \frac{7}{6} & \cdots\\ \cdots & \cdots & \cdots & \cdots \\ \end{matrix}
I know that the Laplace operator is hermitian, why isn't the matrix symmetric? What am I missing?