First, I would like to mention that orthotropic materials have 9 parameters, and not 12, as can be implied from your question.
The simplest approach would be to compute the arithmetic/geometric mean between your parameters. Another one would identify which of the moduli is more important in your problem of interest, although that means that you should know your solution already, and that it can vary from one problem to another.
An approach that is more theoretically sound is to find the closest isotropic tensor to your orthotropic one. That implies the following optimization problem
$$\min_{\lambda, \mu}\quad d(C_\text{iso}, C_\text{ortho})\, .$$
For that you can use three different metrics, that I know of. Let's consider two tensors $C_1$ and $C_2$, the different metrics are defined by:
- The Frobenius metric
$$d_F(C_1, C_2) = \Vert C_1 - C_2 \Vert\, .$$
- The log-Euclidean metric
$$d_L(C_1, C_2) = \left\Vert \log(C_1) - \log(C_2)\right\Vert\, .$$
- The Riemannian metric
$$d_R(C_1, C_2) = \left\Vert(C_1^{-1/2} C_2 C_1^{-1/2}\right\Vert\, .$$
The logarithm and square root used above are the matrix logarithm and the square root of a matrix. Also, it should be noted that the log-Euclidean and Riemmanian norms that induce these metrics are better suited in the sense that they are invariant under inversion and return the same result for stiffness and compliance tensors distances.
As a last comment, in the case of Frobenius metric you can obtain an analytic solution easily, and the solution is (I would double check these)
\begin{align}
&\lambda + 2\mu = \frac{1}{33}[9(C_{11} + C_{22} + C_{33}) + 4(C_{44} + C_{55} + C_{66}) + 2(C_{12} + C_{13} + C_{23})]\, ,\\
&\mu = \frac{1}{33}[4(C_{11} + C_{22} + C_{33}) + 3(C_{44} + C_{55} + C_{66}) - 4(C_{12} + C_{13} + C_{23})]\, .
\end{align}
References
- Moakher, Maher, and Andrew N. Norris. "The closest elastic tensor of arbitrary symmetry to an elasticity tensor of lower symmetry." Journal of Elasticity 85.3 (2006): 215-263. Preprint: https://arxiv.org/pdf/cond-mat/0608311
- Norris, Andrew. "The isotropic material closest to a given anisotropic material." Journal of Mechanics of Materials and Structures 1.2 (2006): 223-238. Preprint: https://arxiv.org/pdf/cond-mat/0509705